Appearance Issues? I'm Too Old For This

Over the years, I've had issues with my appearance. When I was younger, I used to think about all the things I would change about my looks if I could, but as I matured it grew less and less important until I reached a point where I was comfortable with myself. I'm not beautiful but I like to think that I do the best with what I've got.

That is until this last week when my self-esteem really took a hit.

It started when I was listening to one of my students read and he looked up at me midway through his story and asked, "What's wrong with your teeth?" My teeth? I had braces when I was a kid. Nothing is wrong with my teeth. I realize the question came from a 5 year old but still I'm wondering.

A few days later I was on the playground and one of my girls started telling me how beautiful my hair was. She loved the color and she loved the way it looked when the wind blew through it. I was soaking this up. I don't get compliments like this very often, but then she looked at me kind of funny and asked, " Did you know your ears are gi-normous?" My ears? Really? I've obsessed about many of my features over the years but I don't ever remember having a problem with my ears. I keep looking at them now and wondering.

This next part is kind of gross but it goes with the whole picture. I've had this little cyst on my shoulder for years. My doctor had told me that she would remove it whenever I wanted, but I shouldn't wait too long or it could get nasty. Well, it wasn't bothering me so I waited and this week it got nasty. I went to my doctor and she said, "Eww, gross, that's nasty." I don't think those were her exact words, but that's what she meant. She wouldn't touch it. She put me on a heavy dose of antibiotics and told me to come back in a week. So I have this thing on my shoulder that I am very self-conscious about. I'm keeping it covered with a gi-normous band-aid so I don't gross people out.

Then to add insult to injury, I woke up yesterday morning with a fat lip. I just didn't even want to get out of bed. I can't take another hit. My self-esteem is fragile right now.

So here I am with my bad teeth, huge ears, a thing growing on my shoulder and a fat lip. Let's don't even talk about the bags under my eyes and the double chin. I hadn't noticed that before.

I'm going back to bed.